“Pariahs Anon” ~ Indianapolis mother invites support for children pushed towards aggression, facing bullying and mental health issues

Posted on: August 1, 2018, by :

I write this as a parent of a child you may not know. Or maybe you do and because of this, I write “anon” not because I’m ashamed, but because our lives are far too private and messy, to be public with you.

My beautiful child has never been loved as they should be. They have silently grappled with “Why am I not good enough?”

I write this as it pierces though me. It angers me. I am not the one for pity. I surely want understanding, but understanding is always truly confused with pity.

And I have sat outside my child’s room and waited with anxiety, hoping that my child doesn’t take their life in this emotional warfare they handle, daily. I am riddled with emotional wounds of socially deaf school systems. And cruel children. My child is bearing scars from peers who are relentlessly cruel, who badger my child for being unlike them. I have worried about these peers, that maybe my child may finally have enough of this fight. That my child may finally be given more than they can handle. That my child may do the unthinkable — to stop the war set forth in the place they should be safe. School.

Why, you ask, would I be open with that?

Because there are no support groups for people who are parents of possible school shooters. Pariahs anon.

Because I have done all that is within my human ability to keep my child safe.
I’ve asked for all the resources. I’ve been there at a school, begging for a break for my child. Therapy. Medications. Mental health days. Inpatient. Specialists. I’ve been minimized when first demanding outside help — and I was only heard when my child wanted to kill themselves and was placed in care. We have no guns in our home, because I am not only keeping my child alive, but I am keeping your child alive, as well.

My child is so much better. It was awful to seek treatment for suicide. Inpatient isn’t fun for the child or the family. It isn’t supposed to be.

The idea here is, early intervention is key.

Is it so much to believe that your child is facing the same scrutiny and stress that my child is? Is it so far fetched that your child could be silently planning to harm someone to protect themselves? If I see it, what is stopping you from seeing it?

Pariahs Anon is waiting for you. We want to help you, help your child. Please understand we don’t judge you. Please don’t wait, too long, to get help.

 

Editor’s Note:    The author of this article speaks as one of “a group of parents [in Indianapolis] who just reach out,” but who wishes to remain anonymous for the purposes of this article.    Speaking on Pariahs Anon, she says, “What we really are, are just the parents of special needs kids.  Many of the [support] groups are on Facebook, like ‘Indy parents special needs support group’;   these are ‘closed’ groups, which people can join” for support from others facing similar life circumstances.   

For additional resources on mental health support, for your children or for anyone you know who may need assistance, contact the National Alliance on Mental illness at http://www.namiindiana.org/ or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255

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